Wanderova’s 2015 Revelations | Part II: Personal Journals
“I’m like the most hot looking traveller ? Black lace shorts, black top (see-through), red bra, wet hair, pink glasses. I’m awesome and I need to keep travelling with style. Sitting here with my 3-in-1 coffee and sausage sandwich from 7/11 (just instagramed it LOL) and writing. So awesome.”
Personal Journals. Bangkok, Thailand. Aug 31, 2015.
(“The Awesome Traveller.” Bangkok, Thailand. Aug, 2015)
This is Part 2 of the 3-part Wanderova’s Revelations for 2015 series where I share what lessons I’ve learned about myself and life during the past year of digital nomadism, crazy adventures and a little bit of heart breaks. If you haven’t read Part 1 | The Digital Nomad read it here. Coming up is Part 3 | Mentrepreneurship where I talk about how this year has been for ManInside Show and our plans for 2016. So, my friend, welcome to Part 2 of the Wanderova 2015 Revelation Series and the lessons it brings with it.
#1. I Don’t Need Men (Anymore.)
One day I woke up and decided that enough is enough (of men). That day I felt like I’m done (with men). Like, I don’t need them to write to me constantly and tell me they want to see me, that I’m amazing, that they want to take me to their cave and lock me up forever. That day I stopped craving love. I stopped craving attention and for someone to make me feel amazing. And I started loving myself. Of course, it was a long process and it didn’t happen in one day. I read lots of books and listened to a lot of podcasts; my dad visited me for 3 weeks and I’ve done my rollercoaster of men (yeah…I know.) But that day I felt it. And I was really done with men. “Done with men” means done with being needy. I still love them, though. Men are amazing.
It was a very big revelation for me because for the past 10 years I needed them. We live in a culture that tells us to find “the one” and if you’re single you’re not complete. Like, finding your other half is your min purpose in life. Well, I was done with that bullsh*t. For the first time in my life I felt happy by myself. I got really excited about life and about all the crazy adventures waiting for me. More importantly, I got excited about all this time I get to spend with myself, discovering myself and getting to know who I am. Every time I went to a new place there was a man waiting for me there. And so I ended up in this whirlwind of a short-term passionate crazy flings where I was loosing myself and loosing my time. All for the sake of feeling better about myself. When you are in relationships or constantly dating someone, it’s very hard to do be by yourself, unless you set very clear boundaries and your partner is on the same page.
So I stopped. And it feels amazing. From time to time I feel the longing, the desire for deep connection with a man. But I know that we will meet each other when we’re both ready. And I know that this is my path now. Self-discovery. Because if not now then when, if not me then who?
So I suggest you stop needing someone because that someone will not fix you unless you fix yourself. Don’t expect your partner to fill a gap that you yourself created in the first place. Take your time to get comfortable with yourself and get ready for a relationship.
(“Discovering Myself With No Men” Tirana, Albania. Dec 2015)
#2. Magic Exists (a.k.a Law of Attraction Works)
So imagine you’re watching a movie and it’s a movie about you and your life. You sit back and chill, of course, with a big bucket of popcorn and some coke (for the healthy ones, imagine water ?) Well, that is my life for the last 7 months. I literally sit there in my plush purple velvet cinema seat and watch. It’s amazing but it’s scary. I am a big believer in the Law Of Attraction. And before you stop reading this and think to yourself “Oh my god, she’s lost her mind with all this travelling”, let me assure you that I’m not alone and that this stuff really works. I’m not a personal growth guru but the more I stay positive and keep my “vibrations” high, the more good stuff, good people and good situations happen to me. I believe that everything in our life – everything – is a reflection of our current emotional state that turns into a constant, one way or another. People around you, daily situations, the environment and the possibilities are a direct reflection of you. If everything around you just doesn’t work or works not the way you want it to work, time to look inside, my friend. What is in you that is attracting all this?
My movie is happening to me because I don’t stay long in negative states, don’t hangout with low energy people, don’t obsess over things that don’t matter or are just useless to obsess over. Don’t get me wrong, sh*t happens to me too. I don’t live in Wonderland (although, that would be nice.) I am human and human things happen to me. How do I keep it positive? Very simple. Every negative situation or failure I take as learning. Even the most shitty ones. I ask myself “What can I learn here to make sure it doesn’t happen again?” and I move forward quickly. I don’t obsess over and boil in self-blame, self-doubt and self-“insert-whatever-crazy-destructive-emotion-you-usually-feel-to-feel-sorry-for-yourself-here.” I move on. Period. If it’s a really sh*tty situation that I can’t seem to get out of myself (those happen too, trust me) I reach out to people who can help me get out. Not those who will weep over my sorrows and blame the whole world for my problems (cause there are many of those) but those who can help me get my sh*t together, understand my learnings and move on.
Next, I eliminate or hang out as least as possible with people who complain, are negative, whine, weep and blame the world for all their misfortunes. I understand life is hard, I lost my mother at the age of 8 and had an evil bitch stepmother, too. But I use my experiences and learnings from them to move forward and I choose to see a better world, a world full of amazing people and great opportunities. And when you look at people and the world this way, everything changes. By Law Of Attraction you will attract the same. You will see.
So keep your vibrations high, walk away from people, situations and environments that are non-beneficial to your health and well-being and start living a happy life. Start learning from your failures and move on quickly. Surround yourself with awesome people who move forward with you. Today. Do it today. New year is coming so do yourself a favour and give yourself a gift.
(“The Happy Anna” Pai, Thailand. Sept 2015)
#3. Everyone Is On Their Own Journey (let people to be who they are)
This is a big one too. I have finally released myself from a burden of judging people around me and thinking that they need to do what I think is right. I used to actually openly express my opinion about people’s outfits, hairstyles, behaviour and so on and how I think they should change it. OMG, so embarrassing. So I stopped doing that. I stopped worrying about what other people wear, own, how they behave and live their life and, instead, started focusing more on my life. Today I express an opinion about others only when someone asks me (and they will, if they really want to know.) Otherwise, I really don’t care much. You live your life how you want to live your life. If your values (and sometimes outfits) fit mine and we are good together, then I stay in touch. If not, I move on so that you find your crowd and I find mine. It’s very simple, really.
Not only I don’t worry about what others are feeling, thinking and doing but I also accept them for who they are or want to be. It just makes me more patient and less stressed. I understand that everyone has their own path and if they choose to do, wear and think what they want to think, then that’s their choice and there is nothing I can do about it. Yes, sometimes, you really know what’s better for them and they don’t see it. But they don’t see it now and they will never see it unless they are ready. So all your efforts to light their path and show them the truth will be in vane, my friend. Let go and move on. If they need your advice, they will ask. Once you get to this place, it’s truly amazing and liberating.
But I warn you: along this path you might loose a couple of good friends (or those you thought were your friends) because they might think you lack empathy or that you don’t care. And it will hurt. But don’t worry about that. Soon you will attract people who are like you ?
(“I Worry Only About Myself Under The Waterfall” Koh Samui, Thailand. July 2015)
#4. We Are All One (a.k.a Why I Travel.)
Moldova, Thailand, USA – same same, but different. Those who have travelled the world will agree. If you really think about it, all cultures and all countries have people living in them and running them and they just want to be happy. They live their daily lives trying to make sense of it all, providing for themselves and their families and their communities. That’s all. We’re all trying to live a happy life no matter where we are or where we are from. Even those who might have evil intentions have those intentions for the sale of living a better life (in their own perception.) Since I’m on the road 3 things became very close to my heart: nature, people and cultures. And that’s why I wander and travel. I want to explore and feel nature, people and culture. These 3 fascinate me.
From nature I get my power and my energy and I find my solitude. Oftentimes, I look at the vast mountains, forests, oceans and the sky (ok, oceans still freak me out) and I just want to get lost in there. This is our home. Man has distanced himself from nature so much and I don’t understand why. Nature is alive and it is breathing. Nature speaks to us. Sometimes I want to go and cuddle with bears and lions and just be Jane or whatever for a while. I walk along a forest and I need to feel the leaves and I need to feel the soil. A great influence on me craving nature has been this amazing book “Women Who Run With The Wolves” – read it if you can.
From people I get inspiration and drive and love and connection. Humans are fascinating. They’ve built the world we live in. Sometimes I look at the skyscrapers, corporations and economies and I think to myself that humans have all built these structures, theories and systems. It’s all us. We’re all the same but so different at the same time. A Thai construction worker is no different than a Moldovan construction worker. We’re all trying to make sense of this world and most of the time we don’t even know what the f*ck we’re doing. And it’s completely fine.
Humans are fascinating creatures once you get to know them. I started being more interested in psychology and behaviours and societies and how this all fits together. Cultures. This I find the most incredible and fascinating of all. How people in Malaysia build their communities vs how people in USA build theirs. How cultures preserve traditions, ways of life and what they value most. How children are educated, brought up and taught the values of life. How folklore is developed and passed generation to generation. How people greet each other, treat each other and hate each other. How people live. How people have organised their communities and found their own ways of life around the world depending on climate, resources available and values. That’s why I travel.
(“We Are All One” Siem Reap, Cambodia. Jan 2015)
Anything you found interesting? Anything you resonated with? Got any questions? Comment below!